Whisky Foxtrot

Where I work, there are a number of sayings that originate based on phrases from the NATO phonetic alphabet. This phonetic alphabet is used by organizations worldwide to aide making it clear which alphabet letter is being said, particularly over telephone/radio communications – or situations requiring absolute certainty over the exact letter being transmitted.

We often string together phonetic acronyms that act as inside jokes – ways to describe a given person/thing without the ultimate meaning being clear. Some of these are of course not so private and well known – such as Whisky Tango Foxtrot (standing for W.T.F.). But many are just quick ways to refer to inside jokes. Which brings me (in a rather roundabout way) – to one particular acronym and it’s relation to triathlon training.

Whisky Foxtrot. In our little circle, this stands for “Weird F*ck”. It was originally assigned to someone who worked at the location and was a nut case. He actually sent a postcard from ground zero at Hiroshima back to some of the team (while on vacation) that said “Looks like they had a bad day”. Serious nut-job. Whisky Foxtrot inside and out. He sat on a pillow at work. A lime-green pillow.

But I have since christened someone new to get this particular term. Someone that I see about once a week at the local Rec Center…in the locker room.

I’ve never actually seen him anywhere working out – I think he just wanders around keeping himself amused in the locker room. Sometimes I’ll start a swim set – take a quick mid-set bio break (30 mins later), and then finish off the set at the end of the hour. And he’ll be there all three times milling about.

But here’s the kicker – he’s never clothed. He just rambles around the locker room up and down letting all his little bits hang loose.

He kinda looks like Mr. Bean, except about 20 years older with a short gray beard on him and a pot-belly stomach.

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He’ll take a 15-20 minute shower. And then with his hands on his hips and stomach pushed out he’ll do a slow waltz down the locker room past the rows and rows of lockers (sans towel) to the sink – as if he’s deep in thought pondering world hunger. He’ll then hang out at the sink and splash water on himself (he just came from the shower). After he’s done with that, he’ll walk up and down length of the locker room a few more times (maybe 10 locker rows long).

Eventually he might settle down in front of his ‘locker’ to change. But wait – he never brings a towel. Nope. He uses a ga-fricken-zillion paper towels. But not to use on himself.  No, he has to dry off his ‘space’ first.

So the ground in front of the locker gets covered first, like a paper towel tiled floor. He then steps onto said ‘tile floor’ and starts to dry himself off with enough paper towels to replant Yosemite National Park. And once he’s done he leaves them all in a huge pile that resembles a small campfire.

After he’s dry, he repeats the same up and down prancing of the aisle (still without clothing) – back to the sink where he combs his hair (mind you – mast still hanging out and all).

Eventually he heads back to his ‘paper pad’ to rearrange the lair.

I’ve never actually seen him complete the operation and leave the locker room clothed. I’m assuming he must at some point. Note that this whole above re-creation is my piecing together months of watching this dudes antics.

So with that… I officially deem him the honorary title of:

Whisky Foxtrot

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12 Comments

  1. SLB

    Too funny and kinda, well, very weird!

    Just never ever make eye contact!

    Reply
  2. MAn! I’m glad I don’t have any whiskey foxtrots at my gym! Craziness!

    Reply
  3. hilarious. women don’t act like that as much, it seems…

    Reply
  4. Why is it that locker rooms always attract the weirdos? It doesn’t matter where you are, if you are a frequent visitor to a locker room, there is always one of those dudes “hanging out”. We have the air dry machines instead of paper towels, and trust me, you don’t want to see someone drying their bits with one of those…

    Reply
  5. Viv

    LMFAO! I love that Whiskey Foxtrot. Stay away form that man. we have a lady at the gym like that as well. She is there for a couple hours but you never see her workout. She does the nake walk too. W.F. fo sho’

    Reply
  6. lets call him.
    NOCDG
    Naked O.C.D. Guy….naw…lets make that
    WNOCDG
    Weird Naked OCD Guy..

    again, i am not knocking ocd..but there must be reasons this guys is a whiskey foxtrot

    Reply
  7. There’s a name for that: Oscar Charlie Delta.

    Ask Joe about the weird guy at the Navy gym who wears short shorts and wants to wrestle …

    Reply
  8. That ranks right up there with the gals who are at my gym where I work and one gets her pants and shoes on but dries and styles her hair topless and the other gal who does her hair and make-up wearing only platform wedgie sandals and bikini pants on. This is an everyday occurance!

    Wisky Tango Foxtrot!!! It would be one thing if they could pull it off and the rest of us would be slightly envious, BUT NO…

    We want to throw you a towel, or a bra, or a shirt, or a jacket…

    Reply
  9. There is always one like that in every locker room. There is one guy in the locker room in the mornings (he at least works out) but he mumbles and walks around like that.

    Reply
  10. oh i beg to differ, curly su. the women can get freaky too. and i got y’all beat cuz we got not only the lady who likes to dry her hair and apply her face EVERY MORNING while standing in thong undies in front of the mirror, BUT we ALSO have A TRANNY. yep. luckily she keeps to herself and rocks her walkman in the corner of the locker room.

    oh snap.

    Reply
  11. Thank goodness my gym has no locker room – hence no whisky foxtrots available.

    Could this be a homeless person? I’ve never seen such strange actions by anyone before…the stories you read on the Internet….haha..if u didn’t write it, I’m not sure I’d believe it!

    Reply
  12. HAM SANDWICH (as in…HOLY SH**!)!!!

    Whiskey Foxtrot indeed. Wow. That was freakin’ HILARIOUS. And strange.

    The old-San Francisco self in me would suggest something similar to what Jade Lady said – perhaps homeless.

    Thankfully I now live down the street from the YMCA so I never have to deal with anybody’s oddball locker room antics again. Well…for now. ;)

    Thanks for sharing – that was great for a Monday read!

    Reply

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