If you’ve been following my blog long enough – at least two years – then you may remember the comical story locker room story of Whisky Foxtrot (if you haven’t, then you must click.that.link). Now while he’s seemingly disappeared from my most frequented location list (locker room), there appears to be a new Whiskey Foxtrot (WF) in his place. This one has a new and unique feature set that can’t be missed or otherwise ignored.
The new guy stated appearing earlier this winter, right around Christmas time. Given his appearance and festive timing, I at first thought he might actually be Santa Clause preparing for his rounds. After all, he looked just like a slightly slimmer version of him. Older, white fluffy beard, a small potbelly…the works.
Like the first WF, I never saw this particular individual actually work out in any athletic activity. Meaning, my only encounters with him were when he was in the locker room already ‘in progress’. I never saw him in the pool, the gym, the hallways…anywhere! I suppose it’s possible he could have been in the kids soft-padded playroom, as I don’t frequent that. But I’m going to assume he doesn’t go there either.
As with all my Whisky Foxtrot’s, there’s a certain ‘magic quality’ that differentiates them. And thus far, it’s been that they aren’t wearing any clothing. Now you may think this is normal for a locker room – and to some degree that’s true. There are all sorts of naked people wandering around the locker room at all times.
But there’s also a line…a magical line you might say…that you cross from being normal without clothing, to being downright weird without clothing
And this guy crossed that line with one simple act.
The act of utilizing a hairdryer.
Why a hairdryer you ask? After all, its name implies the drying of hair – something millions of folks in the modern world do every day using this magical device.
Except…one problem. Well…two problems actually.
First, he’s a male. Any guy will tell you that no males use hair dryers. That right there in and of itself should have been your first clue: Any guy using a hairdryer is immediately suspect in manland.
But, it’s not that he was using a hairdryer. It’s where he was using a hairdryer.
In the middle of the locker-room halls…nowhere near the sinks and higher up mirrors.
Standing in front of a mirror…a full length one.
Without any clothes.
And using the dryer below the waist.
To make matters worse, the hallway into the locker room is structured such that the very first thing you see when you walk into the locker room is this dude standing there with his feet slightly wider than shoulder width, holding a hairdryer point upwards at himself…from down under.
So with that… I officially deem him the honorary title of:
Whisky Foxtrot the Second
Friday administrative note: If you’ve e-mailed me this week, look for an answer in the next 24 hours. I’ve been super slammed this week working 12-18 hour days and thus things are on a bit of autopilot. Thanks for understanding!
Great post, loved the first WF also. I had some guys like that at my old gym, seems like they love walking around the locker room naked. Yet, like you I never saw them doing any exercise.
I have chalked it up to a locker room mentality that they can’t let go, they were most likely some sort of athlete in high school, and they spent countless hours walking around naked in the locker room. Now they are old, and decide that they don’t need exercise, just the comfort of being naked in a room full of men. WF’s indeed.
No waaaaay! That is just too weird. Maybe he WANTS someone to notice him?
You’ll have to keep us updated on Whisky Foxtrot the Second! Luckily for me, women’s locker rooms don’t have nearly as many WFs to worry about.
Whisky Tango Foxtrot!!! That is just tooooo weird. You did see in the recent issue of Triathlete Mag (Extera racing issue) that the last article is about strange locker room behavior by men and this scenario comes up.
Here’s a bit of West Coast Whisky Foxtrot for you:
1) My husband has witnessed a guy in the gym locker room with his leg propped up on the counter shaving his back end red eye using the mirror.
2) I was running on a treadmill at the gym once when a guy came up in front of them, turned the fan (that was previously pointed at me) towards him, proceeded to put his leg up on the front of one of the machines and stretch while he aired out his sweaty bits.
I think mine win.