I should be sleeping. But I can’t sleep. I should be sleeping because I have to wake up in less than 6 hours to meet up with some tri folks for a swim. Swimming of course not being my strong suit, and neither is waking up at 5:45AM. And finally – neither is meeting up with random people I’ve never met before.
I’m not good at idle chit-chat. It’s just not my thing. In my mind, every spoken conversation, every question – has a purpose. Not just to be spoken for the sake of speaking. If I’m talking with someone, I don’t ask questions I already know the answer to. Why? Why would I A) Potentially sound stupid asking something I already know B) Want to spend time asking about something I already know.
The problem here being that idle chit-chat is the basis for the dating scene. A scene I’m just getting back into after a prolonged departure from (years…). When you’re in a relationship there is no pressure with respect to idle chit-chat and members of the opposite sex. None of it matters. It’s all throwaway for the most part. So you can either smile and nod, or just move on. But that doesn’t seem to apply when you’re actively recruiting.
I do well in situations where either the topic being spoken is interesting, or something I actually know about. Talking about nothing is not my specialty. Even if I know something about the subject, I generally won’t intervene for fear of saying something stupid or obvious. Of course, other people (i.e. males) do intervene and make random comments – perpetuating the whole conversation into a scene of useless babble (probably not unlike my post at the moment…).
I just don’t understand it. Aren’t there people out there that don’t require idle chit-chat?
Oh, and I’m also confused about whether or not to run with good looking runner chick with my group runs or not. The problem is that runner chick (while quite a good runner) is starting to hose up my workouts and making them become ‘throwaway’. We run along at an ok pace but I don’t feel like I’m getting anything out of it (with respect to training…get your mind out of the gutter). I don’t have enough hours or energy left in the day to do yet another run to make up for the so-so run (on top of my other workout – swim or bike). Which in turn makes me feel like I’m not making progress, and that in turn bums me out.
My initial plan was to run with the fast group on Tuesdays, and then the ‘scenic’ group on Thursdays. Seems like a good compromise. But then I realized that if I didn’t run with scenic group on Tuesday, then member of said scenic group would likely move on to other interests. Not ideal. So now I’m stuck in a pattern of scenic runs.
Anyway’s, I’m still confused…and frustrated. But maybe I’m closer to falling asleep.