The US Government officially thinks I’m female

Yikes.  Situation not good.  I got a e-mail from the HR/Payroll department today that during a recent audit of payroll records against the Social Security Administration’s records, there was an error found.  To be precise the error was:

Your information submitted for verification does not match SSA’s records.  Verification results:

Gender code does not match

After checking with HR – they validated that they have my marked as a male, and to take it up with SSA.  I called SSA – and navigated the MOTHER of all phone trees.  This is the phone tree nightmare that little home answering machines must aspire to be when they grow up.  It talked back to you and you talked to it – you swore at it, and it reminded you that “Because the SSA services over 150 Million Americans, there might be a slight delay in answering your call”.  Cute.

After 15 minutes of navigating phone tree hell, I finally got through to a person.  This person confirmed that since birth they’ve thought I was a female.  Of course, they can’t change it over the phone for some weird reason.  Instead I have to fill out a form, and then go to some physical office somewhere and present ID before they’ll change it.

I’m wondering though – do you think at the rec center I could say “Hi, according to my government issued identification papers I’m a female, can I use the female locker room instead?”.  Just thinking…this might not be all bad.

2 Comments

  1. Just walk into the women's locker room and proudly state, "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."

    Reply
  2. wow, that's freaking hilarious. how do you think they're going to make you prove the gender change??

    Reply

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